Category Archives: Thoughts

Oz, The Great And Powerful, or How The F Do These People Become Screenwriters

Movies like this make me mad. $200 million budget, and they can’t get anywhere near a decent script?

Worst action scene: when Oz and Glinda were running away from who knows what, they crested a hill, screaming like it was a giant cliff they were falling over. The camera catches up to them, and it turns out they were just running down the other side of the hill.

Worst line: “Okay, we’ll avoid the poppy fields. Or not.”

Line that had the most potential but they fucked it up anyways: Wicked Witch: “Where’s your bubbles now, Glinda?” Glinda: “They’re just for show.” And then they fly up and battle. They could’ve made Oz say that line elsewhere in the movie. It would have been a great callback. Did they? No. It was as if each scene was created in a vacuum, oblivious to everything else.

Worst reference: The Wicked Witch’s laugh. Did she think something was funny? Why all the laughter? She was supposed to be love stricken, not finding joy in her wicked ways. I don’t get why they could use the laugh from the original movie, but not the mole or the skin color. Stupid laws.

Things that didn’t make sense: The baboon chase in the beginning of the movie. Aforementioned witch laugh. Oz trusting Glinda out of nowhere. Glinda living in a cemetery. The protective bubble that prevents evil from breaking through being broken by evil. The wizard faking his death to the chimp and munchkin, who were let in on the plan immediately after said death. I could go on.

Also, I’d like to mention a special “Fuck you” to the wizard for interrupting the munchkins’ song and dance. Your character up to this point had been inconsistent, uncharismatic, and just a giant waste of space. Let the munchkins do their thing. You weren’t going to be any more entertaining.

The ending was okay. But screw this movie.

Convince Louis, The Game

Vince is visiting for a week, so I invited him and Louis over for dinner. Jess came over as well. We got to play Pandemic, and against all odds (and mismanaging the setup) we beat hard mode with four players! The board was covered in dice by the end, but we squeaked by, if only just barely.

Then came the Resistance games. MVP: Louis. For flubbing the first game as spy, being my spy teammate in the second game and winning, and then being convinced me and Jess were Resistance members in the third game, when we were in actuality the spies. In case you were wondering, that was three wins for me! Booya.

In the five player game, you have to have two missions of two players each. In separate games, I went head to head with Resistance members as a spy, and twice I failed the mission. So they were 100% sure I was spy. You would think it would be over for me, but I yelled louder than anyone else, and successfully convinced the rest of the group that they were the spy. Can’t believe that worked. Poor Jess and Amara.

Then we played Bang!, the western hidden role game. Vince the Sheriff managed to blow himself up with the dynamite that he played, dieing first and securing an easy win for the outlaws. Thems the breaks I guess.

That night, I dreamt that we were still playing Resistance. It was a very unfulfilling sleep.

Upsetting the System

New game idea: F2P MMO (overbloated already!) in which all cosmetic items are free, but the gameplay is going to cost you. You can /walk, /talk, and /attack, but anything else costs real-world money. /jump is $1. Special attacks are $3 apiece. $20 to fly. Dungeons, lands, weapon proficiencies. Money, money, money. Because why should the people who like to look pretty front the costs of everything?

Speculation

Speculation by Edmund Jorgensen. Pass. It’s like the poor man’s da Vinci Code. At least I finished the book, so it’s not exactly the worst. I have no idea why Amara recommended this to me. It was all right as a light read, but overall I felt like I wasted my time.

And now I feel bad. It was the guy’s first novel 🙁

Adaptation

Hilarious! A movie that excels at being a movie. Not a bad way to waste a couple of hours. I’ve read a lot of good things about Adaptation, so I’m glad I got a chance to watch it. Nicolas Cage really excelled.

If on a Winter’s Night a Traveler – Italo Calvino

I finished If on a Winter’s Night a Traveler a few weeks ago. It’s an excellent short-story-type novel that kept me in wonder. This is one of those times that going into a book blind paid off; I had no idea what to expect and laughed at least throughout. Highly entertaining, and a light read. It reminded me of The Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell: the idea that one hidden story persists through all stories the world over.